In Remembrance...Sky Blue and Black

For the victims,responders, heroes,and surviving loved ones of 9/11....may you find peace, bluer skies and love amidst the black...for all of us....hold all those you love, here and gone, deep within your heart with gratitude and joy!

Tell Me A Story

Again I am readdressing past work. We are often encouraged to learn from and leave behind yesterday. "What is done is done!" they say..."Move on!" But I'm not done! My work is about all of me...all of my yesterdays, my nows and my tomorrows. It is my story and we each have one! I am shaped by what was, but not defined by it. I love my memories...the good and the not so great:) Some of my most negative experiences, my aches and pains, my losses, and failures, have been the greatest catalysts for making positive change and growth. They have informed me about myself...what I want and don't want, what I expect and what I wish to become.My daughter, from the time she was little would say, "Mommy, tell me a story." I began a series of paintings years ago, entitled just that.

"Tell Me A Story."A lot can be learned from knowing intimately, the "his/her" story of an individual. What makes them tick? What inspires them to greatness or causes them to retreat into solitude? Why and how do they choose love or not to love? What are their passions? What is their greatest loss? Who? What? Why? When? Where? I want to know!!! And others prefer not to know at all. Anonymity and disconnection abounds. I get it! Does it matter really? To me, it does...witnessing a persons life and seeing beyond the facade...it motivates my heart, my work, my spirit.

So several years ago, I began a stream of consciousness piece to explore my story. When I am unfocused, the intent was to redirect my thoughts into a work that simply explores my current state of mind with no intention about the end result...individual patterns,memories,text and imagery interwoven to create a whole. In some ways it is meditative, like a linear labyrinth...turning and twisting back into itself to restore calm. I do envision an organic piece, one  that transforms in shape, scale and media. It will be textured, intricate,erratic,freely hanging,delicately bound by thread and wire and unbound by frame. It will be my story and for once I understand that it is all my own!

Wonder

“Wonder is not a Pollyanna stance, not a denial of reality; wonder is an acknowledgment of the power of the mind to transform.”~  Christina Baldwin

 

For every child: I wonder if you will ever know how loved you are and how you have graced my life...109814

"Wonder...Know this child will be gifted...With love, with patience and with faith...She'll make her way ...".

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Wonder/20LU7t?src=5

Inspiration From A Dear Friend ..."Stay With Me"

A beautiful friend, Christine Kysely, has the eye, the heart and the passion of a true artist. She compiles portfolios of images and words that reflect a wide range of themes. She draws from the beauty and thoughtfulness of other artists , encouraging her audience to consider them in a unique and attentive way. Her work is poetic, inspiring and always leaves me smiling. Christine has a magical way of reminding others of the abundance and beauty that surrounds them. The image above is from one of her recent compilations, "Stay With Me." One of the images stated, "Lack of Passion Is Fatal." Well said! May you be inspired by and live fully with love and passion throughout your days!           

From Christine Kyseley's album, "Stay With Me." artist unknown but utterly poetic and beautiful...

Meeting Michael

In August of 2010, while on an impromptu weekend jaunt to Niagra Falls,Canada with my lovely niece, Shannon, I violated several important personal safety rules to which I adamantly adhere and ones that I demand that my children observe as well.You know!...I'm referring to the basic precautionary behaviors aimed toward self preservation and protection."Don't talk to strangers!" "Don't take rides from strangers!" "Use the buddy system!" and so forth.I openly talk to people at length and probably offer way too much personal information on an everyday basis. So this was not particularly alarming to my niece because her mother, my younger sister, is far more extroverted than myself. I did however, certainly cross boundaries when I agreed to ride in a vehicle driven by a man whom we met the day prior and decided to accompany him to his home for a lunch that he prepared for us.We were NOT in the U.S.A. and informed no one of our intentions but it was without hesitation that I doled out my business card and phone number to this quirky, yet fascinating character. I dispensed with rules and common sense. I erred not on the side of caution but on the side of intrigue.

My niece was concerned. Every fear and possible worse case scenario flashed through my mind before accepting this stranger's proposal. Obviously I wouldn't normally encourage this sort of risk taking, but intuitively I was confident that we would be safe and would benefit from this short lived "adventure" with our new found friend. First let me clarify that Shannon is a highly educated, athletic (former college crew and volleyball team member),5'10" ,25 year old woman. I'm one of six children and endured many physical confrontations in my day having had 3 fairly aggressive brothers and 2 equally strong sisters. I assured Shannon that we could take our host on if need be:) I doubted that we would have to resort to such extreme measures but we did discuss alternate plans to dodge and escape if threatened or held captive.Oh the drama of a creative mind!
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Well perhaps it wasn't quite so potentially dangerous as I might infer:) After assessing Michael's intentions,demeanor,and authenticity, I felt secure in accepting his invitation. Trust me, I have my ways:) I interrogated, conversed, engaged and listened. The three of us had a quite lengthy and unexpected discussion that ran the gamut from world politics to fine art and dance, all at the Niagra Falls arboretum one early August morning.

Alright so Michael was an 80ish German man, small in stature, with a lyrical accent and demonstrative manner. He was spry and smart, a tool and die maker by trade, a dancer, a botanist, a lover of language and culture. He was extraordinarily opinionated, a bit sexist, but genuinely kind and charismatic. He had a wisdom and magnetism that I "needed" at that moment. I wanted to see Michael in his own environment and experience his world , if only at a glance. So we went. He coerced and stalked us a bit, previous to our actual date, but still we went anticipating an adventure:)

I could write quite extensively about Michael. Perhaps someday I will but only with his approval. He proudly escorted us via car to his home in Niagra Falls where he has lived for some 40 years I believe. Every detail of his home, revealed something about Michael's unique character. It reflected his love of nature, of gardening and of nostalgia. But there was a definite sense of bitter sweetness and quiet, of an attempt to preserve and perhaps "reshape" the past. We learned that he had 4 "successful" children. His wife did not reside with him. His children did not live nearby. In his home, he created a haven of sorts, complete with a handmade koi pond, a thriving and plentiful garden, a workshed and shaded napping bench. It was simple, make-shift, cluttered, eclectic and dated, but oh so charming. It was a reflection of who Michael "was" and "is."

We toured his modest and very interesting home. I ate ripened fruit from trees and vines that were easily within reach and chicken and fresh vegetables that he prepared and grilled. My niece graciously declined, just in case:) I knew that our visit meant a great deal to Michael. As he talked, I watch transfixed,and saw an ageless, passionate spirit, inspired by a voracious appetite for life.My heart ached a bit as he spoke. I listened to his stories of the past and present and intently absorbed the daily stories that he tells himself...the ones that remind him to move forward, to persist. They sounded familiar to my own.

There are many personal details that I ought not to betray about Michael's life. I saw him clearly. I felt equally saddened and inspired by our experience. Michael was reluctant to end our visit but our time was limited and in all fairness to Shannon, it was her weekend as well. Before leaving, in my usual and highly inquisitive manner, I asked our host, "Do you have regrets?". I prefaced it by recognizing that he had financial and material success, healthy and productive children,friends, church, a cultured and abundant life, a rewarding career and more. So as he reflects on his existence at this moment, what thoughts would he most share with me, what guidance, what remorses, if any, regarding his life? His response brought me to tears. My chest tightened.My thoughts reeled. First he handed me a photo copied article that he wanted me to read.Then he simply and directly answered, "Love has eluded me." He shared that his only desire, amid the abundance of his life, was to have a single like minded individual to witness and share his world.... "love has eluded me", he repeated.

I think of Michael often. He called during the holiday season. He offered his home to us if ever we return. I am glad that I put aside my fears, bent the rules a bit and took advantage of those rare and teachable moments that led to our afternoon with Michael.I wish him love.

Painting My Personal Journey

My recent show at Salon du Monde was a great success. I don't mean a monetary one, although I did sell work and acquire a few commissions. It was about the courage to move forward despite recent personal mistakes, mishaps and misconceptions."She Flies Alone," my most recent series, was unveiled to guests who know me well, friends and family, and some who don't. My paintings express ,quite blatantly, how I feel and think....alone,confused,confined and frightened.I know this is a state of mind...my state of mind... but it is honestly and unapologetically me. The more I paint, the more freedom and strength I discover . I reveal my mind and my heart as I create. It is a private process. To display it publicly, invites the questions, reactions and concerns of others.I am comfortable and prepared to share and respond to most of it. I can't really mask who I am, nor silence who I wish to become any longer....just me, sincerely and imperfectly myself.

This display serendipitiously coincided with news of my acceptance into a Masters of Fine Arts program in Georgia. I begin this summer. It is yet another step toward moving forward with my life. I want and need to paint. I feel and see great change! The transformation has been painful at times and downright terrifying . I risk losing the security of my current life. But I have learned that the risk of losing opportunities, challenges and experiences that I am confident will help me to grow, is far more daunting and fearsome. I can't stay still. I will fly alone and am fully prepared to be alone but believe that those who know and love me best, will encourage my journey.

So now I am sharing a glimpse of my evening at Salon du Monde...my exhibit, my dreams, my art. I was most surprised by the positive reactions and empathetic stories of others. My experiences and feelings are in many ways universal... but in the end, they are uniquely about me. One friend said I am in the midst of a true mid life crisis! I agree. I am awakening to who I am and what I am no longer.I am admitting change and seeking challenge. That is a beautiful thing! It is not intended to offend, hurt or alienate. It does not diminish the wonder and joy of what was.We are made for change. I have spent years trying to resist it. I want to know what I can become and what I can offer to others that is of greater value.I do know that it will be through my work and my art ....and for once, I am enthusiastically anticipating the obstacles and errors.

"Fearful?" A little. "Hopeful?" Without a doubt!

"She Flies Alone..." We become our thoughts I've been told. I trust how I think and feel ....alone but not lonely.Enjoy!

CLICK HERE to view moments from my recent exhibit!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=104912&id=1483745280&l=4f90d75ef8

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." ~Winston Churchill
109814

Wild Heart

“A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages.” ~Tennessee Williams

These Are The Days

Love, thanks and peace on this special day. There is only now. I will enjoy it with a grateful and loving heart!

Removing the Mask: The Red Shoe Series

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."

~James Baldwin

Change

If I sat to write all of the ways in which my life has been "unfolding" and changing in the past several years, I could seriously create an interesting novel. After years of seeking comfort, prompted mostly by fear, insecurity and misunderstanding, I now crave change. I ache for it. Prepared or not, I realize that it is only through change, great or small, that I will become who I am meant to me.I can't accomplish that bound by the mental confines that I constructed in the past. Really what is the worst that can happen? Failure, poverty,abandonment, loneliness? These really are not options in my world:)  What if change means abundance, wealth, community, acceptance and love? I believe it does and will.
So, my path is slow, but steady . Perhaps I am idealistic, unrealistic, even crazy to surrender stability. I'm just embracing the unexpected and welcoming the previously uninvited. Have I been painting? Not much ...but I'm forever painting in my mind. I know that when I put brush to canvas...soon....very soon, I'm gonna' make magic. Life feels magical at this moment for no reason other than I am letting go of my own fears. One of my treasured friends always reminds me that pain, fear, failure becomes only as important as one makes it....it is the way in which you react to it and "hold it" that matters. I am holding my fears with gentleness and respect...they are certainly not gone... but I am ready to set them aside so that I can move, grow, and Fly.
I wish I could reveal  some greater purpose to which I aspire. Hmmm...I actually can't . Painting is it! My joy, my future, my objective... is to create art that is "authentic" and that matters to me. I think it will be meaningful to others as well. I want to share my heart and my work fearlessly. I'm not there yet. I have to be mindful of my present life and of those I love but they love me enough to know that change will do me good:)
So that's all I got. Perhaps not much to anyone other than myself but there is freedom in understanding and knowing myself and my weaknesses. For others, I may never be enough, give enough, produce enough, be smart or beautiful or talented enough.It matters more that I think I am "enough." Shhh.... although I think at times I'm "too much" for some:)
Hold your fears gently and dare to fly. Make it magical and meaningful! Welcome to Judy's world:)

Fly Away

Jude Harzer Fine Art 2-23-10

Fly Away

Fly

"I'm ready now to fly from the highest tree...." P. Ahn

Love: The Exhibit

Fully Armored  Jude Harzer 2008

I received an inquiry about the exhibit that I plan to curate, inspired by the very powerful and universal experience , we refer to as “Love.” The show is planned to debut in 2011. It is a collaborative effort . My art and the art of others will be enhanced by the writings of a very talented emerging author and compositions by an equally gifted musician. The three are inextricably connected and are necessary in order to fully convey the essence of this exhibit. Art, like love, is multi- sensory and multi faceted.

The idea for this show became clear as I sat outside the home of friend and fellow artist, Carol Saylor this past December. Anyone that dares to spend time with me, knows that the conversation is rarely “light.” .Carol endures my persistent questionings, musings, and pleas for answers regarding life, love, purpose and passion. Carol “knows” life and love. She has suffered great tragedy and pain. Despite premature blindness and deafness during mid life, the loss of a daughter , ( Alice a mother of 3 , in her 30’s) ,to cancer, the death of her husband and so much more, Carol radiates energy, strength and beauty. How and why does anyone navigate this life with persistence and purpose in the face of great pain,loss and failure ? There have been many people who have graced my life who I have witnessed do just that….move forward despite the hard knocks and obstacles, with unusual persistence and vigor. Again I ask "How and why? "

….Always, always, the answer makes a resounding reference to LOVE! Love, passion, hope and a belief in something greater than ourselves, is a powerful motivation that reveals in us strength and greatness beyond our wildest imaginations. And yet, “love”, misunderstood, unexpressed, rejected or absent , has the potential to consume, destroy and diminish. Perhaps this is not love at all, but personal perception is not a tidy and universal process to be defined.

I’m not simply talking about the hearts and roses of romantic love, although that certainly provides a wealth of inspiration. I am referring to the entire spectrum of the experience….the good, the bad, the pure…young love, true love, first love ,mature love, unrequited love….the love of a parent, a friend, a lover, a child. We are often motivated by the love of country, the love of learning, the love of freedom, the love of God , nature and life itself. Is it possible to genuinely and fully love many, or do we reserve our love for a chosen few? Why do we crave , live, die , and pray for it? Unconditional love…does that even exist? And why do we fade in the absence of it? All I know is that love matters and sustains us in times of need. It exposes beauty where there appears to be none . Love makes the seemingly mundane appear extraordinary and unites us in ways that give meaning to our brief moments here in this life.

Another exceptional friend, fellow artist, art historian and educator Trish Maunder, once told me that love is the “stuff’ that inspires all great art .I believe she is right! So as I journey to make sense of it, I have become an observer of this phenomenon and have learned to embrace rather than resist it.Yes, when we expose our hearts, we are left unguarded and more susceptible to pain, tears and potential hurt. But comfortably numb is not living and over time, the pain of regret, is far greater than any love, lost or found.

So this isn’t a Valentine’s exhibition. It is about life, love and inspiration and I am blessed to have plenty of it all! Live and love HUGE!

PS… Dino… the one you love! This one is for you Pork Chop:) See image above for reference. All rights reserved Hanna Barbera.
Check Carol Saylor out on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TcJ0KZHIR8&feature=related

Fly

Fly: Breathe  Jude Harzer

When I started painting four years ago, my greatest inspirations were my own children,Christina and Robert, my students, and the children that we all are or once were. After considering for many years why any of us fail to recognize our talents,beauty,and potential to succeed and live fully, I realized that it had a lot to do with love or an absence of it:) True and pure love is offered without expectation, judgement or malice. It mutually nurtures the spirit of the "giver" as well as that of the recipient. I began a series of paintings entitled ,"Fly." Each featured a figure, usually a child, offering a "breath of inspiration." I believe wholeheartedly that if we were all encouraged with kindness and taught to celebrate our unique gifts, we would at least have a good head start as we ventured off to pursue our dreams...unfettered by thoughts of failure,fear or inadequacy.

I tried to raise my children with love and kindness. I  have failed at many things but I try like crazy to be a strong and mindful parent. I took seriously, the responsibility of encouraging my children to love and respect themselves and to pursue a life of purpose and passion. I imagine that they grow tired of hearing their wacky artist mom, spew motivational advice about chasing their dreams and embracing their own greatness:)....but they listen. I know they do. I see it in their eyes and in their actions.

Yesterday we said so long to my daughter Christina , who is bound for Australia for 6 months to study communications. As a young girl she would tell me about a recurring dream. It was clear and explicit and involved her travels to the Australian Coast . Okay , it also involved a beautiful surfer boy and his family  which is of no surprise because she was raised at the shore and prides herself on being a "beach bum".So at 19, she is chasing her dreams.Young, beautiful, bright and bold, this kid is destined to fly. And before she left she turned to me and told me to paint with all my heart. She hugged me ,praised my recent work (that is very generous coming from her)and advised me to return to my "Fly" images. I think she is right:)

Christina, last I heard, you were on a flight to Fiji. I will think only of your safety, the adventure and the possibilities! No fear! And although you will be missed (minus the mess, the mouth and the noise) I want you to live big my love and FLY! May you dream and dance down under....dreams really do come true:)
PS...Contact us ASAP when you land and are settled. I'm still your mama my muse:)

Saying "so long" for now 2-7-10

My Wish For You

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return." ~ Leonardo da Vinci

Wildflower Underpainting: In Process

Day # 3 I'm uncertain how to proceed and not "feeling" a resolution. I 'll work on another piece. I gave this an hour of time and "effort" and think it best to work on some other smaller works in process This is about 3' x 7' and although my intention was to use an array of materials, I'm working exclusively with oils and charcoal. I tend to be reactive and rushed when I paint. I'm trying to be more thoughtful about my work... well for the moment anyway and anyone who knows me, knows that might change in an hour or so:)
Day # 2. Not much headway made or time invested this evening, but I decided I'm gonna paint like I mean it. As I was teaching today, one of my students made what she believed to be a grave error...as grave as one could be for a Kindergartner:). As I showed her how she might resolve this unexpected mishap and to think how it might actually enhance her work, I thought about my own paintings. There really are no such things as mistakes...There are only opportunities to learn and challenge ourselves to be more creative and innovative. There is nothing else I'd rather be doing at this moment. I painted. My children hung out in my studio as I did. It doesn't get much better than that.

As with most of my work, I rarely do preliminary sketches. I usually have a vague idea of where I am headed. I like that the paintings evolve and that the end result often masks layers of my initial marks that don't even resemble what is seen by the observer. I did have a more defined concept for this piece but then I picked up charcoal and that distracted and redirected my thoughts about how I will proceed. I am certain many aspects of this painting will be revised,marked and masked.Here is day #1. I'm just glad to have painted:)

One Sweet Love: Wildflower Paintings

Although I enjoyed my time away and the warmth of the weather while on vacation, I yearned (yes yearned:) to return to my studio and to my work. And so last night I began again to paint, collage, sketch and scrape. Recycled wood is my preferred substrate material. The texture ,taste and "nature" of love will always inspire my work. This is a work in process.This is actually a single composition, hinged in the center. The portrait falls to the right. It is a rough underpainting and collage. Oh how I missed the smell of my materials.

One Sweet Love

The Child Within

I have managed to spend more time working on my painting, "The Child Within."As I was driving last weekend, to spend the day with my friend, Carol Saylor, a Pa. based sculptor and fine artist, I was thinking seriously about my work and my motivations for creating it. I had spoken earlier with another friend.We extensively discussed my recent work. What motivates anyone to do anything? The recurring answer for me is always love and passion. In its absence, I cannot create well. I fall in and out of love on a daily basis with ideas,images,great minds,literature and art ,positive sensations and memories. I asked Carol, who has had greater life experience, some incredibly tragic, "What is it that you have learned from this life? " Her response was that she "understands" nothing and knows little:) I told her that I shared something similar with my children... that the "key" to living freely is in the understanding and appreciation that,simultaneously, none of it matters...and yet all of it matters:) We talked about how love and loss,despite education, "knowledge", and material success, guide our thoughts,actions and interests. It is what reminds us that we are alive and connected to others in a deeply emotional sense. And then I had a realization about my work that I cannot at present fully share. I called my best friend excitedly as I sat in my parked car outside of Carol's home. I explained the concept for my next project. She listened and loved it because for once, it genuinely reflects who  I am and what I believe. After the completion of the initial phase of my work, it will include and culminate with work of nearly 1000 pieces by an array of artists.I will curate this project. I am confident that I can. My inspiration is love.Theirs will be as well."The Child Within" is a tribute to love lost, found and unrequited. It is about the absence of care and kindness when it is most needed. This painting  is about the struggle to heal, forgive and recover...about self acceptance, self discovery and self love. It is about the beauty of experiencing love as a mother, father, sister, brother, lover, friend or child.The following adapted text was written by Betrand Russell. Bertrand Arthur William Russell, (May 18,1872 –February 2, 1970) was a British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, socialist, and pacifist.In the early 1900's, he led the British "revolt against idealism". Considered one of the founders of analytic philosophy, Russell recieved a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1950  "in recognition of his varied and significant writings in which he champions humanitarian ideals and freedom of thought."

Three passions have governed my life:

The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living.

The Child Within

It is tragic when a child's spirit and sense of security are stolen. It can take a lifetime to heal, if ever. Love and patience, when trusted and accepted, help mend broken heads and hearts.
This painting is in process. It is oil on canvas and is 4 ft. w x 2 Ft. h.I am sneaking in a little painting amid the activity of the holiday season. Shhhhhhh!
"The way of peace is the way of love.Love is the greatest power on earth.It conquers all things"....Peace Pilgrim.

Quiet

For those who have yet to notice, most of my paintings are autobiographical in nature. There is almost always some underlying reference to my childhood or to the stories and the people who inspire me most.I am an "emotional" and empathetic painter... a believer in love. However, sometimes the inspiration does not come or I am too exhausted to create from my heart.To avoid frustration, I paint from observation.Creation of these "traditional" images, relies on skill rather than spirit.It is actually meditative when my hand, eyes and mind are synchronized. Time seems suspended and my thoughts are quieted.So tonight was a peaceful night as I worked on a still life that I began and tucked away last May.In process, this image is my attempt to refocus and breathe.oil study: natural patterns for "field" paintings

And the musical inspiration for the evening, was Southern Rock!Very meditative and traditional in a dancing,moving,foot stomping kind of way:)My mind may have been "quiet", but body and soul are always on the go:)
Green Grass and High Tides
Don't Misunderstand Me
Crazy Love
Whipping Post
Seven Bridges Road

Thank You

I give thanks everday for the opportunity to freely pursue my dreams. I am conscious and grateful for every moment that I live, love, learn and grow. My life is pure abundance! But on this day, I am especially appreciative of all of the people who have graced my life with love, support and kindness.It is for them that I am most grateful on this Thanksgiving Day! You take my breath away:)Robert's Thanksgiving has had an especially sweet start as he is at this moment out on the ocean, off the coast of Pt. Pleasant Beach, fishing for striped bass!

There is a French proverb that says, "Gratitude is the memory of the heart." My mind often dismisses the details of the business of daily life, but my heart remembers well...the kindness,love and generosity of others.I always have a grateful heart:)
Thank You, thank you!

Robert Thanksgiving Day 2009