Moving Forward: Child's Play

I officially completed my second term of graduate school this past week. There were moments that felt downright frustrating and overwhelming. I contemplated terminating my registration in the program but I was reminded quite frequently by friends and by my own incessant thoughts, as to why I must persist. I am moving forward...in life, in art, in living out loud! My classes at the Savannah College of Art and Design have been unexpectedly challenging but incredibly rewarding. I realized how much I have to learn about the discipline I most love... all of the theory, criticism, and formal elements of art are still swirling in my brain .It seriously made me think hard about my own work and its place in the contemporary art world! I intend to make my way.

So in my painting class, I continued to explore the concept of "Child's Play," as inspiration for symbolic visual, multi-figure narratives. I'm basically telling stories that address the importance of role playing among children as a vehicle for self exploration, understanding and self expression. My work is very personal and is intended to convey a sense of familiarity, comfort and intimacy. I believe our greatest inheritance as artists is our life
experience and personal history. I have drawn upon my own discovery of art and imaginative play as a way of making sense of traumatic and disturbing occurrences in childhood that shaped who I am and how I think. My intent however is to feature children who exhibit strength, resilience and who utilize creativity to cope and thrive.

My work incorporates themes of danger, concealment, vulnerability, protection and unification. There is reoccurring symbolism which includes the headwear, the flamingo and barbed wire .I will work to further expand this symbolic visual language and a more defined cast of characters relevant to the theme of the ritual of play and the protection of children.

The works of narrative painter Paula Rego , photographer Sally Mann and outside artist, Henry Darger, have significantly influenced my recent artistic intent and desired aesthetic using children as my primary subject matter. All create provocative imagery with psychological and symbolic underlying content.

So these images are reflective of my recent efforts in Painting I at SCAD. I am moving forward and not looking back!

Dolls and Child's Play: Recent Works

As always, my work is inspired by personal experiences, thoughts and emotions. When I paint and create, my mind is focused on my own reflections and responses to the happenings of life rather than the actual painting process and image making. I consistently say that I paint "who I am." Of course, like most individuals, there are many facets to my interests,personality and roles that I assume. Consequently the subject matter of my work varies and often the technique itself. But all of it is me...my marks, my images, my passions. I am both woman and child, mother, daughter, partner and friend.

I also work in a series format because my ideas regarding the same "theme" are abundant. A single image is often not an adequate representation of my concept and so multiple compositions allow me to explore and experiment.So featured here are recent works addressing two new series of works: the "Doll" series and "Child's Play."

Doll

Captured

The "Doll" images address the social and sexual well behaved female. I will elaborate on this in a future post. The "Child's Play" series , in essence, explores the value of play as an investigation of self and environment in youth. It also addresses the unique and sometimes deviant behaviors that are revealed in response to the imposed stresses and constraints of life . Children develop skills and define interests as a result of play.

Featured here is a glimpse of my initial attempts to explore these themes. There is more to come...I promise!

It's In the Journey

~ Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome. ~Arthur Ashe

Click here to see me and my art in Savannah, Ga.

I am an artist. I can't imagine being anything else. I see art everywhere. It took a lifetime for me to accept and embrace that I view and experience things in a way that is unique only to me. I am a painter of dreams..., my dreams. It has been a very strange, confusing, and yet very beautiful journey to arrive at this place. At nearly 48 years old, I am beginning to recognize and understand the person who I am, or rather who I wish to become. This journey through life, requires transformation.We are not meant to stand still or necessarily be comfortable or content.

Here at Savannah College of Art and Design, where I began my graduate studies in painting this summer, standing still was not an option and change has been demanded. The faculty expects it . My lifestyle and painting practice made it inevitable. A 5 week intensive quarter semester with a daily schedule from 5 am to midnight ,devoted primarily to art production and critique, did not allow for idleness, mentally or physically speaking.They call it "art boot camp" here. It is.... but the rigor and discipline were welcomed . I was made for this.

My life this past year has evolved in ways I never imagined. A new job, my youngest child graduated and  college bound, irreversibly altered personal relationships, and a host of other life happenings , ... all  necessitated that I evolve and grow...or not. There were long, dark  "moments" when I did not feel able. I resisted and nearly surrendered to a dangerous and paralyzing complacency and acceptance of a life to which I no longer belonged. Acceptance to graduate school was a long considered "reaction" and opportunity to redefine my life and reorient my path to where I wish to be. I don't know exactly where that is, but I know that moving forward is the way in which I'll arrive at that realization.


I even expected the torturous self reflection that this experience would evoke.Crying....there was a lot of crying...some from sadness, frustration, loneliness, relief and joy. Daily, life altering conversations with like minded creative spirits, exposure to art making and criticism that dramatically differs from my own, financial and personal sacrifices to "selfishly" be in this place, plagued my thoughts on a daily basis, amid an expectation to produce and perform. And still I know I needed to be here. As uncomfortable and challenging as it felt at times, I felt an urgent, disquieting pull to embrace this new phase in my life.I created this moment and this opportunity. I cannot waste it.

There is no place, however to which I can go, where I can hide from myself....not even in Savannah. It has a haunted, transient , unpredictable atmosphere. It feels right for me at this moment. Yesterday was a final critique. No one can possibly criticize me more than I evaluate and criticize myself.I realized through this process, how much I have to learn, how sincerely I have grown and how strong I am in mind, body and spirit.  I trust how I think . All the confusion and angst usually comes from resisting what I know to be certain. I know my heart. I know my passions. I know my many weaknesses and flaws. So finally, I am letting go. No promises...no expectations of anyone other than myself to assist in my journey but pure gratitude for the health, love, family and friendships that have guided me here... and hope, always great hope, that those who I love will have patience, empathy and compassion as I venture forward. I am so grateful and blessed. I wonder if I say it enough...if those I love, know it enough.

I'll make art that matters...to me and hopefully to others. I'm desperate to learn.I'll continue to share my graduate school experiences. I expect they will be interesting, to me anyway:) The posted images are a few of the works I created during the 5 week immersion. I think art is meant to be shared. It is who I am.
Some of my recent artistic transformation was inspired by the direction of two wildly talented and brilliant young professors: Gregory Eltringham and Natalija Mijatovic. It was an honor to work with them. They offered a rare level of intelligence, talent, and sensitivity that made me respect and value the artistic process and purpose. They made me want and expect more of myself. Here are links to their professional sites:
http://www.gregoryeltringham.com/

http://www.blazokovacevic.com/

Now I have a brief hiatus. As I prepare to send both my children off to college and ready for my own year of teaching, I must plan and learn to manage the demands of graduate school. I'm ready.No more wasting me:)
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~Confucious
Enjoy!

No longer waiting for my real life to begin....this is it!
http://grooveshark.com/s/Waiting+For+My+Real+Life+To+Begin/1L

SPECIAL LOVE and THANKS to my room mate Jessica and my neighbors and friends, GAV and CHRIS who made me smile and who endured my quirkiness, stories and energy:) oxox

Click here to see me and my art in Savannah, Ga.

Awake and Dreaming

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

"Awake and Dreaming " oil and mixed media on recycled wood Jude Harzer Fine Art

detail     "Awake and Dreaming"

I began this painting while in New York City at the School of Visual Arts in the summer of 2009. That was a wonderful and life altering experience for me, having returned to school at nearly 46 years of age to devote my efforts exclusively to my art. The program lasted only 5 weeks, but it was an intensive period of time during which I immersed myself in my thoughts and my painting. When I returned home, I was very aware of the changes that had occurred around and within me. Imagine how noticeable the transformation would be if you hadn't seen a small child for a year! The changes would be monumental and immediately apparent! Mine were undeniably huge! The greatest challenge was in determining how to reconnect and assimilate back into my daily life where the people I most loved, existed and thrived. One of my best friends advised me to paint my way to where I wished to be.This was invaluable advice but not always easy to follow because the realization was that where I am going, those I love might not care to follow. I have struggled these past few years to remain sensitive to the idea that they didn't expect or invite these changes.I even surrendered myself to the notion of "staying put", convincing myself that my "selfishness" and restlessness could be remedied by altering my thoughts and perceptions...Hmmm...I failed at that endeavor!

Because, move forward I must.....We are designed for change and growth, however difficult it might be.This summer I will once again have time to fully dedicate to my art as I begin  graduate school .I am approaching this experience with more confidence and receptivity to change. During the past two years, I have grown bolder, braver,kinder and more patient. I have become a BELIEVER and  I am certain my work will reflect who and what I am...an artist:) Change is good!
"
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. " ~Anatole France

Jude Harzer | See.Me

A friend suggested that I submit my works to this international competition entitled: Artists Wanted: The Power of Self. This event celebrates the self portrait, which is often the most intimate and revealing subject matter that an artist creates. "See Me" as I paint my way to my dreams! Vote daily, 5 stars which means inspired, in support of my endeavors. It would be greatly appreciated. The winner has an opportunity to spend an entire year exclusively devoted to creation of their art! Check out my portfolio by clicking on the link below!
 With love and thanks! ~Jude~
 Jude Harzer | See.Me

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.” ~ Oscar Wilde

 

In Process...

In process...
I am recycling my first attempts at truly painting from just 5 years ago.I smile when I think of how I've grown and improved. Instead of destroying or abandoning these original works, I thought they would make beautiful under paintings. I will blanket the old, with the new. Fresh images and pigment will conceal hidden stories.They will preserve the process of my return to painting.

I smile when I look at past work. It is painfully labored and self conscious, but always I created with passion and heart. I paint more aggressively now. I think and work with more confidence. I  trust my own eyes .  I have an abundance of painted canvas, waiting to be reworked and transformed. Change is due.
“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

  

Self ~ Letting Go

Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go. -- Sylvia Robinson

Misunderstood

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." ~Lao Tzu

Painting :Enjoying the Process

Besides an abundance of ideas regarding subject matter, I actually am interested in my technique and palette. In an effort to paint more fluidly, I am working on 1' x 1' gessoed cardboard and have limited my palette to Prussian blue, titanium white, burnt sienna and dark cadmium red. It is amazing the range that can be achieved in value and hue.

This idea was prompted by receiving an image from friend and fellow artist, Andrew Werth, who created a beautiful and "quiet" painting of his wife Karen. He told me that he was influenced by Edward Hopper and I really studied the stillness that he suggested in this work. I also was advised this summer at the school of Visual Arts in NYC to look at some figurative work by other artists such as Lucien Freud and John Currin, in particular.John was a fellow classmate at Carnegie Mellon in 1981-1982. I recall his skill. It served him well. He is among the top 100 artists in the world:) I won't comment on his subject matter. You can check it out for yourself... but his talent is undeniable.It does help once in awhile, to step outside of yourself, to escape your own thoughts in an effort to learn and develop further. Looking to those who have achieved great success, can be very instructive and inspiring.

So today I painted and am still painting and making progress. It has flowed freely without any intention of creating a finished piece. These are the days that I am reminded of how much I love the smell, feel and process of working with oils. It is the ultimate form of meditation.

"I intend to paint myself to death." L.Freud "  Painting til death ,sounds like a beautiful demise. J.Vereb

Hooray for snow days:) Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! I think we might have another snow day tomorrow. 2 consecutive days of painting ! My words cannot adequately convey my rapture. I might cry:) Just joshin.' Hey Pork Chop,.... if you're out there, this geeky artist girl is about to make magic!

Fly

Fly: Breathe  Jude Harzer

When I started painting four years ago, my greatest inspirations were my own children,Christina and Robert, my students, and the children that we all are or once were. After considering for many years why any of us fail to recognize our talents,beauty,and potential to succeed and live fully, I realized that it had a lot to do with love or an absence of it:) True and pure love is offered without expectation, judgement or malice. It mutually nurtures the spirit of the "giver" as well as that of the recipient. I began a series of paintings entitled ,"Fly." Each featured a figure, usually a child, offering a "breath of inspiration." I believe wholeheartedly that if we were all encouraged with kindness and taught to celebrate our unique gifts, we would at least have a good head start as we ventured off to pursue our dreams...unfettered by thoughts of failure,fear or inadequacy.

I tried to raise my children with love and kindness. I  have failed at many things but I try like crazy to be a strong and mindful parent. I took seriously, the responsibility of encouraging my children to love and respect themselves and to pursue a life of purpose and passion. I imagine that they grow tired of hearing their wacky artist mom, spew motivational advice about chasing their dreams and embracing their own greatness:)....but they listen. I know they do. I see it in their eyes and in their actions.

Yesterday we said so long to my daughter Christina , who is bound for Australia for 6 months to study communications. As a young girl she would tell me about a recurring dream. It was clear and explicit and involved her travels to the Australian Coast . Okay , it also involved a beautiful surfer boy and his family  which is of no surprise because she was raised at the shore and prides herself on being a "beach bum".So at 19, she is chasing her dreams.Young, beautiful, bright and bold, this kid is destined to fly. And before she left she turned to me and told me to paint with all my heart. She hugged me ,praised my recent work (that is very generous coming from her)and advised me to return to my "Fly" images. I think she is right:)

Christina, last I heard, you were on a flight to Fiji. I will think only of your safety, the adventure and the possibilities! No fear! And although you will be missed (minus the mess, the mouth and the noise) I want you to live big my love and FLY! May you dream and dance down under....dreams really do come true:)
PS...Contact us ASAP when you land and are settled. I'm still your mama my muse:)

Saying "so long" for now 2-7-10

My Wish For You

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return." ~ Leonardo da Vinci

Wishes and Wildflowers

My art has become an obsession. It is my passion. My inspirations are personal, emotional and heartfelt. To alter the way I think and feel in accordance with someone else's "rules" or values, would diminish what makes my work uniquely my own.And sometimes the most beautiful and valuable work, comes from the darkest and most challenging places.I wouldn't have it any other way. It motivates me to move forward and to find strength in myself. Fear, regret,and loss really have nothing to do with my work any longer. Beauty, love, hope and persistence have everything to do with what I create.Some people mistake and confuse emotion with weakness or failure to progress.Be assured, I am far from weak and I will continue to love, learn and dream the best I know how.I am painting for myself.I am painting my dreams.

This image: Wildflowers is a small 3 dimensional prototype for my much larger "Field" paintings. I used mixed media: hardware, aluminum, wood and paper, painted with an oil overlay, to create the highly textured surface.

Essential Music and Art Exhibit Chelsea, NYC

Jude and Ellie Colon (and yes she is young and drop dead gorgeous!)

Jude, Tyler, Seth and Jennifer
The Essential Music and Art Exhibit in Chelsea, NYC,hosted Saturday,October 17,2009 by curator Ellie Colon,was a great success. It was a pleasure exhibiting again with fellow SVA summer resident artists from this past summer: Seth Kitzmiller of West Virginia, Jennifer Shepard of Texas and Tyler Vipond of Canada,among others.It was a truly memorable experience and was an honor to be invited to partcipate as an exhibiting artist. Shhh!!!My next venture takes me out west. From city slickers to cowboys:)Arttruly is everywhere!
To view more images from this event,click on the link below.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=38526&id=1483745280&l=b723f21d83

Hope: Dandelion Wishes

Well I found my misplaced camera which was carefully tucked away in a drawer in my very messy studio space. I am certain that I did that in one of my more practical moments, realizing that if it was placed anywhere amid the clutter, it would be hopelessly lost:)
So I was able to photograph some work in process. I am creating paintings inspired by specific themes for several upcoming shows.This posted image is actually 3 individual canvas panels that will be stitched together to create a single 9 ft. unstretched vertical image.Painted in oil, it will eventually include other media that emphasizes its relationship to fabric and tapestries.
The piece will be included in an exhibit having the theme:"Hope." The title of this image is "Hope: Dandelion Wishes".

I am also working on a unique quilted piece. It is created using paper clay, aluminum wire mesh,gesso,oil paint and monofilament. The square panels will feature art work that will be applied,after it is fully assembled.It's abrasive texture is in direct contrast to the softness of traditional quilted fabric.

Through Her Mind's Eye:The Art and Inspiration of Carol Saylor

My Kindergarten students were very fortunate to have my friend and fellow artist, Carol Saylor, spend the day with them, sharing her stories and her art. Carol is a mother of five children, grandmother of ten, great-grandmother of one. She is an artist, a renowned sculptor and a computer programmer. Carol's "story" is made more extraordinary and inspirational than one would imagine. She is both deaf and blind due to two very distinctive genetic conditions. She gradually lost her sight and hearing beginning in her late 30's. To read more about her art and life, check out her website at : http://www.carolsaylor.com
She shared her passion for art and her love for life with us today.

How Long Have I Been Sleeping?

My painting, "How Long Have I Been Sleeping?", is about personal "awakening".It celebrates those "aha" moments when I felt as though a veil had been lifted from my eyes and from my heart and suddenly I was able to see myself and others as never before.These experiences have led to significant personal changes, the most important being the rediscovery of my art and a whole lot of self forgiveness and forgiveness of others in my life.
"How Long Have I Been Sleeping?" is currently on display at the TriCity Arts event in Asbury Park, NJ.
The thing is, once we have been awakened to "who" we are and honestly consider our choices, our purpose and our dreams, it is difficult to fall back to sleep. Hmmm...insomnia is not always a pleasant state of being:)

"That she was seeing with different eyes and making the acquaintance of new conditions in herself that colored and changed her environment, she did not yet suspect."...
"The past was nothing to her; offered no lesson which she was willing to heed. The future was a mystery which she never attempted to penetrate. The present alone was significant..." ....
"I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn't give myself. I can't make it more clear; it's only something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me." quotes from The Awakening Kate Chopin 1899

An interesting read:Transforming Dreams: Learning Spiritual Lessons from the Dreams You Never Forget Kelly Bulkeley 1986

Kona (aka "Batgirl")

Tia, I think Kona may be painting worthy. Hmmm....I don't usually create animal portraiture but her ginormous ears are quite appealing. Let's hope she grows into those extremely large auricles and then I can stop calling her "Batgirl." :)

In Your Dreams: Jude in NYC

My painting, "Dreams:Haunted" ,will be displayed in NYC at the Pen and Brush. This juried exhibition,In Your Dreams,Reveries, Fantasies, and Impossible Wishes is curated by Edward J. Sullivan, Professor of Art History and Dean for the Humanities at New York University.

The opening reception is:
Saturday, April 4th
3:00pm - 5:00pm
at
16 East 10th Street in New York’s Greenwich Village.
Please join me for the opening reception!

Much thanks to fellow artist, D.J. Haslett who recommended that I check out this exhibition opportunity. He thought the venue and theme were ideal for my work and he was right!I paint my dreams and now I get to share them:)
If you are interested in seeing D.J.'s sculptures, click on the link below and type in his name to access his impressive portfolio. D.J. thanks again for your thoughtfulness and generosity.
Dream huge...and never abandon them. Trust me ...it works!

http://www.sculpture.org/portfolio/

Art: A Universal Language

PLC Kindergartners perform a "dragon dance"! A student's first attempt at scroll painting...bamboo for good luck!
The student's "shadow puppets"...low tech entertainment! My favorite!

January 1st marks the start of our New Year of course. It is a time for rejuvenation and renewal! For me, it is when I begin my celebration of multicultural arts and crafts in my school art studio. This month has been devoted to the richness of Chinese Art. My Kindergarten artists have tried their hand at "brush painting", creating images of bamboo with minimal and effortless strokes,(well obviously some of my 5 and 6 year old friends were more successful than others),lanterns and shadow puppets. The culminating event was our "Lunar New Year" celebration,complete with dragon dance,storytelling, shadow puppet performance and parade...all organized by the special area staff, myself included.

Studying and celebrating world cultures, reveals the universal importance of art as a vehicle for expression,recording history and as a means of beautifying and elevating the seemingly mundane.Art was integrated into every aspect of life, but particularly into the ceremonial events that marked the passage of time.Despite my passion for the fine arts,(painting,drawing and sculpting),the crafts of world communities have been most inspiring to my own work in recent years. The graphic nature of printed Adinkra funerary cloths, the colorful whimsy of Oaxacan animal figurines or aboriginal dreamtime dot paintings and the delicacy and ballet like movement needed to create Asian calligraphic strokes, never cease to fascinate me.And it is that which I share with my students.The aesthetics of the lines,patterns,color,textures and symbolism evident in these crafts, can be described as "simple sophistication." Art + children = Pure inspiration

Let me ask you something, what is not art? ~Author Unknown