Progress: Child's Play On Top Of My Head

In recent months, I have developed these symbolic visual narratives in greater depth . They are a culmination of concepts and images from previous works, all aimed toward the exploring the importance of "child's play" as a venue for learning, communication, collaboration and self exploration. It is a time when secrets are revealed, roles are defined and emotions are expressed. In 2012, I will compose text that more explicitly defines the story of these works.
Here is a glimpse of this evening's effort! Enjoy!

 

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that
without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.”
― Pearl S. Buck

On Top of My Head

I intend to surprise myself this upcoming year! I do. I have set in motion a path that will markedly change my life. I am apprehensive and a bit frightened but more fearful of standing still . My art has also begun to change and is more genuinely representative of who I am and how I think. We are our thoughts after all. Our ideas are inextricably tied to how we navigate and react to the world in which we live. For me, the awareness that I alone am responsible for my life, is more important than ever before in this season of my being.
A dear friend, unknowingly inspired me to retrieve and recover a creative project that I set aside, one that embraces all that I value in my art and life...children,love,whimsy and wonder. And so I have begun a new series of works that are tied to my Child's Play paintings, entitled, "On Top of My Head..." I hope, I know, I pledge...to surprise myself:)

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
― Neil Gaiman

Child's Play: Protector

Who better to protect a child than one who has survived and strengthened?

“It's the children the world almost breaks who grow up to save it.”
― Frank Warren

The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she believe. She must start out by believing in things not of this world. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination. ... Only by having these things in my mind can I live beyond what I have to live for.”
― Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Moving Forward: Child's Play

I officially completed my second term of graduate school this past week. There were moments that felt downright frustrating and overwhelming. I contemplated terminating my registration in the program but I was reminded quite frequently by friends and by my own incessant thoughts, as to why I must persist. I am moving forward...in life, in art, in living out loud! My classes at the Savannah College of Art and Design have been unexpectedly challenging but incredibly rewarding. I realized how much I have to learn about the discipline I most love... all of the theory, criticism, and formal elements of art are still swirling in my brain .It seriously made me think hard about my own work and its place in the contemporary art world! I intend to make my way.

So in my painting class, I continued to explore the concept of "Child's Play," as inspiration for symbolic visual, multi-figure narratives. I'm basically telling stories that address the importance of role playing among children as a vehicle for self exploration, understanding and self expression. My work is very personal and is intended to convey a sense of familiarity, comfort and intimacy. I believe our greatest inheritance as artists is our life
experience and personal history. I have drawn upon my own discovery of art and imaginative play as a way of making sense of traumatic and disturbing occurrences in childhood that shaped who I am and how I think. My intent however is to feature children who exhibit strength, resilience and who utilize creativity to cope and thrive.

My work incorporates themes of danger, concealment, vulnerability, protection and unification. There is reoccurring symbolism which includes the headwear, the flamingo and barbed wire .I will work to further expand this symbolic visual language and a more defined cast of characters relevant to the theme of the ritual of play and the protection of children.

The works of narrative painter Paula Rego , photographer Sally Mann and outside artist, Henry Darger, have significantly influenced my recent artistic intent and desired aesthetic using children as my primary subject matter. All create provocative imagery with psychological and symbolic underlying content.

So these images are reflective of my recent efforts in Painting I at SCAD. I am moving forward and not looking back!

" Oriah Mountain Dreamer, L'Invitation"

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
― Oriah Mountain Dreamer, L'Invitation

In Remembrance...Sky Blue and Black

For the victims,responders, heroes,and surviving loved ones of 9/11....may you find peace, bluer skies and love amidst the black...for all of us....hold all those you love, here and gone, deep within your heart with gratitude and joy!

Dolls and Child's Play: Recent Works

As always, my work is inspired by personal experiences, thoughts and emotions. When I paint and create, my mind is focused on my own reflections and responses to the happenings of life rather than the actual painting process and image making. I consistently say that I paint "who I am." Of course, like most individuals, there are many facets to my interests,personality and roles that I assume. Consequently the subject matter of my work varies and often the technique itself. But all of it is me...my marks, my images, my passions. I am both woman and child, mother, daughter, partner and friend.

I also work in a series format because my ideas regarding the same "theme" are abundant. A single image is often not an adequate representation of my concept and so multiple compositions allow me to explore and experiment.So featured here are recent works addressing two new series of works: the "Doll" series and "Child's Play."

Doll

Captured

The "Doll" images address the social and sexual well behaved female. I will elaborate on this in a future post. The "Child's Play" series , in essence, explores the value of play as an investigation of self and environment in youth. It also addresses the unique and sometimes deviant behaviors that are revealed in response to the imposed stresses and constraints of life . Children develop skills and define interests as a result of play.

Featured here is a glimpse of my initial attempts to explore these themes. There is more to come...I promise!

It's In the Journey

~ Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome. ~Arthur Ashe

Click here to see me and my art in Savannah, Ga.

I am an artist. I can't imagine being anything else. I see art everywhere. It took a lifetime for me to accept and embrace that I view and experience things in a way that is unique only to me. I am a painter of dreams..., my dreams. It has been a very strange, confusing, and yet very beautiful journey to arrive at this place. At nearly 48 years old, I am beginning to recognize and understand the person who I am, or rather who I wish to become. This journey through life, requires transformation.We are not meant to stand still or necessarily be comfortable or content.

Here at Savannah College of Art and Design, where I began my graduate studies in painting this summer, standing still was not an option and change has been demanded. The faculty expects it . My lifestyle and painting practice made it inevitable. A 5 week intensive quarter semester with a daily schedule from 5 am to midnight ,devoted primarily to art production and critique, did not allow for idleness, mentally or physically speaking.They call it "art boot camp" here. It is.... but the rigor and discipline were welcomed . I was made for this.

My life this past year has evolved in ways I never imagined. A new job, my youngest child graduated and  college bound, irreversibly altered personal relationships, and a host of other life happenings , ... all  necessitated that I evolve and grow...or not. There were long, dark  "moments" when I did not feel able. I resisted and nearly surrendered to a dangerous and paralyzing complacency and acceptance of a life to which I no longer belonged. Acceptance to graduate school was a long considered "reaction" and opportunity to redefine my life and reorient my path to where I wish to be. I don't know exactly where that is, but I know that moving forward is the way in which I'll arrive at that realization.


I even expected the torturous self reflection that this experience would evoke.Crying....there was a lot of crying...some from sadness, frustration, loneliness, relief and joy. Daily, life altering conversations with like minded creative spirits, exposure to art making and criticism that dramatically differs from my own, financial and personal sacrifices to "selfishly" be in this place, plagued my thoughts on a daily basis, amid an expectation to produce and perform. And still I know I needed to be here. As uncomfortable and challenging as it felt at times, I felt an urgent, disquieting pull to embrace this new phase in my life.I created this moment and this opportunity. I cannot waste it.

There is no place, however to which I can go, where I can hide from myself....not even in Savannah. It has a haunted, transient , unpredictable atmosphere. It feels right for me at this moment. Yesterday was a final critique. No one can possibly criticize me more than I evaluate and criticize myself.I realized through this process, how much I have to learn, how sincerely I have grown and how strong I am in mind, body and spirit.  I trust how I think . All the confusion and angst usually comes from resisting what I know to be certain. I know my heart. I know my passions. I know my many weaknesses and flaws. So finally, I am letting go. No promises...no expectations of anyone other than myself to assist in my journey but pure gratitude for the health, love, family and friendships that have guided me here... and hope, always great hope, that those who I love will have patience, empathy and compassion as I venture forward. I am so grateful and blessed. I wonder if I say it enough...if those I love, know it enough.

I'll make art that matters...to me and hopefully to others. I'm desperate to learn.I'll continue to share my graduate school experiences. I expect they will be interesting, to me anyway:) The posted images are a few of the works I created during the 5 week immersion. I think art is meant to be shared. It is who I am.
Some of my recent artistic transformation was inspired by the direction of two wildly talented and brilliant young professors: Gregory Eltringham and Natalija Mijatovic. It was an honor to work with them. They offered a rare level of intelligence, talent, and sensitivity that made me respect and value the artistic process and purpose. They made me want and expect more of myself. Here are links to their professional sites:
http://www.gregoryeltringham.com/

http://www.blazokovacevic.com/

Now I have a brief hiatus. As I prepare to send both my children off to college and ready for my own year of teaching, I must plan and learn to manage the demands of graduate school. I'm ready.No more wasting me:)
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." ~Confucious
Enjoy!

No longer waiting for my real life to begin....this is it!
http://grooveshark.com/s/Waiting+For+My+Real+Life+To+Begin/1L

SPECIAL LOVE and THANKS to my room mate Jessica and my neighbors and friends, GAV and CHRIS who made me smile and who endured my quirkiness, stories and energy:) oxox

Click here to see me and my art in Savannah, Ga.

Tell Me A Story

Again I am readdressing past work. We are often encouraged to learn from and leave behind yesterday. "What is done is done!" they say..."Move on!" But I'm not done! My work is about all of me...all of my yesterdays, my nows and my tomorrows. It is my story and we each have one! I am shaped by what was, but not defined by it. I love my memories...the good and the not so great:) Some of my most negative experiences, my aches and pains, my losses, and failures, have been the greatest catalysts for making positive change and growth. They have informed me about myself...what I want and don't want, what I expect and what I wish to become.My daughter, from the time she was little would say, "Mommy, tell me a story." I began a series of paintings years ago, entitled just that.

"Tell Me A Story."A lot can be learned from knowing intimately, the "his/her" story of an individual. What makes them tick? What inspires them to greatness or causes them to retreat into solitude? Why and how do they choose love or not to love? What are their passions? What is their greatest loss? Who? What? Why? When? Where? I want to know!!! And others prefer not to know at all. Anonymity and disconnection abounds. I get it! Does it matter really? To me, it does...witnessing a persons life and seeing beyond the facade...it motivates my heart, my work, my spirit.

So several years ago, I began a stream of consciousness piece to explore my story. When I am unfocused, the intent was to redirect my thoughts into a work that simply explores my current state of mind with no intention about the end result...individual patterns,memories,text and imagery interwoven to create a whole. In some ways it is meditative, like a linear labyrinth...turning and twisting back into itself to restore calm. I do envision an organic piece, one  that transforms in shape, scale and media. It will be textured, intricate,erratic,freely hanging,delicately bound by thread and wire and unbound by frame. It will be my story and for once I understand that it is all my own!

Awake and Dreaming

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

"Awake and Dreaming " oil and mixed media on recycled wood Jude Harzer Fine Art

detail     "Awake and Dreaming"

I began this painting while in New York City at the School of Visual Arts in the summer of 2009. That was a wonderful and life altering experience for me, having returned to school at nearly 46 years of age to devote my efforts exclusively to my art. The program lasted only 5 weeks, but it was an intensive period of time during which I immersed myself in my thoughts and my painting. When I returned home, I was very aware of the changes that had occurred around and within me. Imagine how noticeable the transformation would be if you hadn't seen a small child for a year! The changes would be monumental and immediately apparent! Mine were undeniably huge! The greatest challenge was in determining how to reconnect and assimilate back into my daily life where the people I most loved, existed and thrived. One of my best friends advised me to paint my way to where I wished to be.This was invaluable advice but not always easy to follow because the realization was that where I am going, those I love might not care to follow. I have struggled these past few years to remain sensitive to the idea that they didn't expect or invite these changes.I even surrendered myself to the notion of "staying put", convincing myself that my "selfishness" and restlessness could be remedied by altering my thoughts and perceptions...Hmmm...I failed at that endeavor!

Because, move forward I must.....We are designed for change and growth, however difficult it might be.This summer I will once again have time to fully dedicate to my art as I begin  graduate school .I am approaching this experience with more confidence and receptivity to change. During the past two years, I have grown bolder, braver,kinder and more patient. I have become a BELIEVER and  I am certain my work will reflect who and what I am...an artist:) Change is good!
"
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. " ~Anatole France

Grace in Letting Go

Self: oil on recycled canvas...in process..."Letting Go."
April's Love

I Like For You To Be Still ~ Pablo Neruda

Pablo Neruda


Pablo Neruda,(1904-1973) Chilean writer, poet and political activist , composed sonnets and poems so deeply sensual and erotic that many were considered controversial at the time and were actually banned. They are works of pure passion ... I cannot choose a favorite. There are many. His words betray thoughts and emotions secretly felt by others. At times they are difficult to read and leave one feeling exposed . He is an artist, creating from that which inspires most great works: LOVE...lost, found,unrequited,protected.
May you love fully and genuinely throughout the rest of your days. (For Fiona and John)

Wonder

“Wonder is not a Pollyanna stance, not a denial of reality; wonder is an acknowledgment of the power of the mind to transform.”~  Christina Baldwin

 

For every child: I wonder if you will ever know how loved you are and how you have graced my life...109814

"Wonder...Know this child will be gifted...With love, with patience and with faith...She'll make her way ...".

http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Wonder/20LU7t?src=5

For You: Wrapped in Warmth and Wishes.

Wrapped in Warmth and Wishes...in process oil on canvas...24" x 36"109814

 

Jude Harzer | See.Me

A friend suggested that I submit my works to this international competition entitled: Artists Wanted: The Power of Self. This event celebrates the self portrait, which is often the most intimate and revealing subject matter that an artist creates. "See Me" as I paint my way to my dreams! Vote daily, 5 stars which means inspired, in support of my endeavors. It would be greatly appreciated. The winner has an opportunity to spend an entire year exclusively devoted to creation of their art! Check out my portfolio by clicking on the link below!
 With love and thanks! ~Jude~
 Jude Harzer | See.Me

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.” ~ Oscar Wilde

 

Inspiration From A Dear Friend ..."Stay With Me"

A beautiful friend, Christine Kysely, has the eye, the heart and the passion of a true artist. She compiles portfolios of images and words that reflect a wide range of themes. She draws from the beauty and thoughtfulness of other artists , encouraging her audience to consider them in a unique and attentive way. Her work is poetic, inspiring and always leaves me smiling. Christine has a magical way of reminding others of the abundance and beauty that surrounds them. The image above is from one of her recent compilations, "Stay With Me." One of the images stated, "Lack of Passion Is Fatal." Well said! May you be inspired by and live fully with love and passion throughout your days!           

From Christine Kyseley's album, "Stay With Me." artist unknown but utterly poetic and beautiful...

The Power of Self

 See Me. I paint and like who I am. Visit See.me.com to view my profile and submission celebrating the "Power of Self."

http://judeharzer.see.me/aw2011/grid

Day Dreamer

In process,"Day Dreamer", very wet oil on recycled canvas. I apologize for the reflection.  

Day Dreamer
"It is a good idea to be alone in a garden at dawn or dark so that 
all its shy presence may haunt you and possess you in a reverie
of suspended thought."  ~James Douglas

In Process...

In process...
I am recycling my first attempts at truly painting from just 5 years ago.I smile when I think of how I've grown and improved. Instead of destroying or abandoning these original works, I thought they would make beautiful under paintings. I will blanket the old, with the new. Fresh images and pigment will conceal hidden stories.They will preserve the process of my return to painting.

I smile when I look at past work. It is painfully labored and self conscious, but always I created with passion and heart. I paint more aggressively now. I think and work with more confidence. I  trust my own eyes .  I have an abundance of painted canvas, waiting to be reworked and transformed. Change is due.
“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

  

"Blessed"...in process

For my daughter....for my children...."I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach..." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“There is no such thing as too many children… that is like saying there are too many flowers.”  

 Mother Theresa

Cecilia: My Wish

Detail oil on canvas 24" x 36" Jude Harzer My Wish

In process: My Wish oil on canvas 2011 Jude Harzer

 "Well the thing I find most amazing in amazing grace,is the chance 
to give it out ...maybe that's what love is all about..." B. Heath                      

                           

Red Shoe Series continued.....

My inspiration for my upcoming MFA painting program at Savannah School of Art and Design explores the emotional , spiritual and psychological transformations of women in mid life. I will continue to develop my "Red Shoe" series as I evaluate the redefining of the feminine figure and psyche as women mature.

Meeting Michael

In August of 2010, while on an impromptu weekend jaunt to Niagra Falls,Canada with my lovely niece, Shannon, I violated several important personal safety rules to which I adamantly adhere and ones that I demand that my children observe as well.You know!...I'm referring to the basic precautionary behaviors aimed toward self preservation and protection."Don't talk to strangers!" "Don't take rides from strangers!" "Use the buddy system!" and so forth.I openly talk to people at length and probably offer way too much personal information on an everyday basis. So this was not particularly alarming to my niece because her mother, my younger sister, is far more extroverted than myself. I did however, certainly cross boundaries when I agreed to ride in a vehicle driven by a man whom we met the day prior and decided to accompany him to his home for a lunch that he prepared for us.We were NOT in the U.S.A. and informed no one of our intentions but it was without hesitation that I doled out my business card and phone number to this quirky, yet fascinating character. I dispensed with rules and common sense. I erred not on the side of caution but on the side of intrigue.

My niece was concerned. Every fear and possible worse case scenario flashed through my mind before accepting this stranger's proposal. Obviously I wouldn't normally encourage this sort of risk taking, but intuitively I was confident that we would be safe and would benefit from this short lived "adventure" with our new found friend. First let me clarify that Shannon is a highly educated, athletic (former college crew and volleyball team member),5'10" ,25 year old woman. I'm one of six children and endured many physical confrontations in my day having had 3 fairly aggressive brothers and 2 equally strong sisters. I assured Shannon that we could take our host on if need be:) I doubted that we would have to resort to such extreme measures but we did discuss alternate plans to dodge and escape if threatened or held captive.Oh the drama of a creative mind!
.
Well perhaps it wasn't quite so potentially dangerous as I might infer:) After assessing Michael's intentions,demeanor,and authenticity, I felt secure in accepting his invitation. Trust me, I have my ways:) I interrogated, conversed, engaged and listened. The three of us had a quite lengthy and unexpected discussion that ran the gamut from world politics to fine art and dance, all at the Niagra Falls arboretum one early August morning.

Alright so Michael was an 80ish German man, small in stature, with a lyrical accent and demonstrative manner. He was spry and smart, a tool and die maker by trade, a dancer, a botanist, a lover of language and culture. He was extraordinarily opinionated, a bit sexist, but genuinely kind and charismatic. He had a wisdom and magnetism that I "needed" at that moment. I wanted to see Michael in his own environment and experience his world , if only at a glance. So we went. He coerced and stalked us a bit, previous to our actual date, but still we went anticipating an adventure:)

I could write quite extensively about Michael. Perhaps someday I will but only with his approval. He proudly escorted us via car to his home in Niagra Falls where he has lived for some 40 years I believe. Every detail of his home, revealed something about Michael's unique character. It reflected his love of nature, of gardening and of nostalgia. But there was a definite sense of bitter sweetness and quiet, of an attempt to preserve and perhaps "reshape" the past. We learned that he had 4 "successful" children. His wife did not reside with him. His children did not live nearby. In his home, he created a haven of sorts, complete with a handmade koi pond, a thriving and plentiful garden, a workshed and shaded napping bench. It was simple, make-shift, cluttered, eclectic and dated, but oh so charming. It was a reflection of who Michael "was" and "is."

We toured his modest and very interesting home. I ate ripened fruit from trees and vines that were easily within reach and chicken and fresh vegetables that he prepared and grilled. My niece graciously declined, just in case:) I knew that our visit meant a great deal to Michael. As he talked, I watch transfixed,and saw an ageless, passionate spirit, inspired by a voracious appetite for life.My heart ached a bit as he spoke. I listened to his stories of the past and present and intently absorbed the daily stories that he tells himself...the ones that remind him to move forward, to persist. They sounded familiar to my own.

There are many personal details that I ought not to betray about Michael's life. I saw him clearly. I felt equally saddened and inspired by our experience. Michael was reluctant to end our visit but our time was limited and in all fairness to Shannon, it was her weekend as well. Before leaving, in my usual and highly inquisitive manner, I asked our host, "Do you have regrets?". I prefaced it by recognizing that he had financial and material success, healthy and productive children,friends, church, a cultured and abundant life, a rewarding career and more. So as he reflects on his existence at this moment, what thoughts would he most share with me, what guidance, what remorses, if any, regarding his life? His response brought me to tears. My chest tightened.My thoughts reeled. First he handed me a photo copied article that he wanted me to read.Then he simply and directly answered, "Love has eluded me." He shared that his only desire, amid the abundance of his life, was to have a single like minded individual to witness and share his world.... "love has eluded me", he repeated.

I think of Michael often. He called during the holiday season. He offered his home to us if ever we return. I am glad that I put aside my fears, bent the rules a bit and took advantage of those rare and teachable moments that led to our afternoon with Michael.I wish him love.

Adele - Rolling In The Deep

For The Love of Art - Opening February 12

 

Please join us for the opening reception for:

The Love of Art at Austin Art Space Gallery

Austin, Texas

February 12th, 2011

6-9 pm

See my paintings "Wildheart", and  "Where We Love is Home"(image below). Both recent 2011 works are included in the exhibit!

Wishing you much love, where ever you may be! oxox

In Process: Finding Self

Carol Saylor at the Noyes Museum

My friend and colleague, Carol Saylor will have an exhibit at the beautiful Noyes Museum in Oceanville , NJ. Her blindness and deafness do not define who she is as a person or as an artist. Her one day hands on workshop offers a unique opportunity to spend the day with Carol to share her talent, humor and spirit.She is witty, honest and awe inspiring! Please join her. The registration form is available on the Noyes Museum website.

2011 Teachers' Workshop
Touch Beyond Sight
Presented by the artist Carol Saylor
http://www.carolsaylor.com/
Monday, March 21, 9am–2:30 pm,
$50 register online
5 professional development hours

An inclusive workshop designed to broaden the horizons of teachers and their students by enriching the experience of art through the use of touch, description and imagination. Originally conceived as artwork for the blind, this is art that is meant to be touched and can be used to expand the accessibility of art to underserved populations. An enjoyable workshop and a great opportunity to gather new ideas for expanding the curriculum try some creative art activities and meet other teachers. Light morning refreshments & lunch included.

733 Lily Lake Road, Oceanville, NJ, 08231
(609) 652-8848

Registration form
http://noyesmuseum.org/teachers_wksp.html

Painting My Personal Journey

My recent show at Salon du Monde was a great success. I don't mean a monetary one, although I did sell work and acquire a few commissions. It was about the courage to move forward despite recent personal mistakes, mishaps and misconceptions."She Flies Alone," my most recent series, was unveiled to guests who know me well, friends and family, and some who don't. My paintings express ,quite blatantly, how I feel and think....alone,confused,confined and frightened.I know this is a state of mind...my state of mind... but it is honestly and unapologetically me. The more I paint, the more freedom and strength I discover . I reveal my mind and my heart as I create. It is a private process. To display it publicly, invites the questions, reactions and concerns of others.I am comfortable and prepared to share and respond to most of it. I can't really mask who I am, nor silence who I wish to become any longer....just me, sincerely and imperfectly myself.

This display serendipitiously coincided with news of my acceptance into a Masters of Fine Arts program in Georgia. I begin this summer. It is yet another step toward moving forward with my life. I want and need to paint. I feel and see great change! The transformation has been painful at times and downright terrifying . I risk losing the security of my current life. But I have learned that the risk of losing opportunities, challenges and experiences that I am confident will help me to grow, is far more daunting and fearsome. I can't stay still. I will fly alone and am fully prepared to be alone but believe that those who know and love me best, will encourage my journey.

So now I am sharing a glimpse of my evening at Salon du Monde...my exhibit, my dreams, my art. I was most surprised by the positive reactions and empathetic stories of others. My experiences and feelings are in many ways universal... but in the end, they are uniquely about me. One friend said I am in the midst of a true mid life crisis! I agree. I am awakening to who I am and what I am no longer.I am admitting change and seeking challenge. That is a beautiful thing! It is not intended to offend, hurt or alienate. It does not diminish the wonder and joy of what was.We are made for change. I have spent years trying to resist it. I want to know what I can become and what I can offer to others that is of greater value.I do know that it will be through my work and my art ....and for once, I am enthusiastically anticipating the obstacles and errors.

"Fearful?" A little. "Hopeful?" Without a doubt!

"She Flies Alone..." We become our thoughts I've been told. I trust how I think and feel ....alone but not lonely.Enjoy!

CLICK HERE to view moments from my recent exhibit!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=104912&id=1483745280&l=4f90d75ef8

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." ~Winston Churchill
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