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Recent Works: MoreDeta

 Recent works

1 hour oil on board

Untitled, oil on linen, detail,  2013

Protector, in process, oil and graphite on paper, 2013

Heartache

“Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
― Henry Miller

Heartache can be likened to regret. When quiet with myself, the persistent pangs that gnaw at and wither my spirit , I realize, are largely self imposed. I wince and wallow in this awareness that I failed to take action, follow through or respond to life itself. I lacked courage and stood still,
Note to self: move.

Action # 1 Post recent works and update blog.

Armed (detail) oil on linen 60" w x 20" h 2013

I create works that for me, are satisfying in their conception and process (for the most part). Many are incomplete. They surround me , waiting to be revisited. Crazily, many pile up in my studio, as I pay little attention to their "after life". The time has come to sell, exhibit or at least share my art. I am preparing for an adventure...a move...a leap of faith.... and I cannot carry the weight of these works with me. So for today, I will offer a glimpse of my private pleasure of painting. 

Hiding Spaces oil on linen 20" w x 60" h

My recent Hiding Spaces series explored space, both physical and psychological. I enjoyed creating these works as they felt very authentic and emerged fluidly as I painted.

Fish Tales oil on board 2013 Concept for future series exploring the art of storytelling featuring children and fish as subject,  both representative of  fertility, abundance and transformation.

There's more to come....

Aftermath

Storm Sandy unleashed her wrath here at the Jersey Shore. Her strength was underestimated and  the aftermath inconceivable. There are no words at the moment so all I can do is paint.Works in progress...

Tell Me A Story

We each have a story to share. When repeated to ourselves and others, we not only perpetuate the essence of our past experiences, but we begin to believe that they somehow permanently define who we are and effect what we ultimately become. We often expand upon these personal tales and get stuck in them . We see ourselves as past hurts, lost loves, and failed friendships. Of course others contribute to our stories and those passages are much more difficult to edit or forget. During my recent graduate narrative painting class, I wanted to share the story of someone whom I felt tried with every ounce of her being to rewrite the events of her "past" life. The chapters of her youth are downright painful. Profound sexual , physical and mental abuse would  scar the psyche of just about anyone. My friend Teri is no exception. Her appearance betrays none of the ugliness that pervaded her life for decades. Part mask and part mission, Teri has spent her life furiously trying to shed the harm inflicted upon her and to abandon the  practiced , self imposed belief that somehow, she deserved all that she endured. Sharing the details of her saga would make for interesting and somewhat unfathomable reading but it might unnecessarily compromise the intention of my own work.

Teri bravely gave me permission to share her secrets. Perhaps one day I will. I ache from her story and so I decipher the pain the best way I know how, through my painting.My current work explores the influence of "Legacy", the inherited, shared and often imposed stories from generation to generation, that inextricably infiltrate our very being, with or without our consent. It often takes a lifetime to realize that we ourselves give power to the stronghold of these weights on our soul and psyche and only we can truly unburden and free ourselves from the past. So here I sat with Teri, her daughter Noelle and her grand daughter Zoe, three generations of beautiful women , all impacted by past legacies. As I interviewed Teri, it grew apparent that there was an enormous void caused by one of the most profound and painful chapters of her life.Teri helplessly witnessed the suicide of her 21 year old daughter Mary as she walked  in the path of an oncoming train.  This has become part of their legacy , as individuals, mothers, sisters and daughters. As I worked I wondered how does one refrain from giving power to such pain.There are no words, no right way, no time frame, no magic mode for healing.

These works are inspired by Teri, her daughters , Noelle and Mary and granddaughter, Zoe. They celebrate their legacy.

Legacy

Legacy: On the Backs of Their Mothers

Zoe

Strength and Wisdom: Knowing

Knowing: Zoe oil on canvas Jude Harzer 2012

Knowing: Savka: "dedicated and brave" inspired by photograph of artist Natalija Mijatovic 

Knowing series oil on canvas oil on canvaas 2012

It was Aristotle who said that knowing ourselves is the beginning of all wisdom. My current work continues to explore feminine strength and resiliency but also the knowing of self that results from life experience. One does not have to be aged to possess wisdom, although grace in maturity is often evidence that the individual has learned a thing or two about how to navigate this life . It requires mastery of mind, strength of spirit, flexibility and a whole lot of letting go. But curiously, children often exude this same inner fortitude and awareness. In youth , some have been challenged to tap into those internal reserves that protect and preserve them from moment to moment. They exhibit a quietness and composure that reminds us that they are witnessing , constantly observing and learning.... They see and know based on how they are made to feel and how they perceive the business of life and the reactions and patterns of behavior of their elders to it.So my new work will celebrate the seers and knowers, whatever the age, because in exploring them, I am reminded how very little I know about myself ...how fabulously  foolish and flawed. ...

Contrary to what some people may believe, creating  art is more about discipline, time and practice than it is about talent and inspiration. I have the privilege of having access to some amazing professors at the Savannah College of Art and Design who are guiding me as I desperately try to paint, learn and improve. It helps to borrow the eyes and minds of other artists as I complete my first full year of graduate school. The goal is to finish before I am 50. Hmmm....I am on track. Fingers crossed! Here is some of the work that I have produced during the past 3 weeks of summer study at SCAD.