We each have a story to share. When repeated to ourselves and others, we not only perpetuate the essence of our past experiences, but we begin to believe that they somehow permanently define who we are and effect what we ultimately become. We often expand upon these personal tales and get stuck in them . We see ourselves as past hurts, lost loves, and failed friendships. Of course others contribute to our stories and those passages are much more difficult to edit or forget. During my recent graduate narrative painting class, I wanted to share the story of someone whom I felt tried with every ounce of her being to rewrite the events of her "past" life. The chapters of her youth are downright painful. Profound sexual , physical and mental abuse would scar the psyche of just about anyone. My friend Teri is no exception. Her appearance betrays none of the ugliness that pervaded her life for decades. Part mask and part mission, Teri has spent her life furiously trying to shed the harm inflicted upon her and to abandon the practiced , self imposed belief that somehow, she deserved all that she endured. Sharing the details of her saga would make for interesting and somewhat unfathomable reading but it might unnecessarily compromise the intention of my own work.
Teri bravely gave me permission to share her secrets. Perhaps one day I will. I ache from her story and so I decipher the pain the best way I know how, through my painting.My current work explores the influence of "Legacy", the inherited, shared and often imposed stories from generation to generation, that inextricably infiltrate our very being, with or without our consent. It often takes a lifetime to realize that we ourselves give power to the stronghold of these weights on our soul and psyche and only we can truly unburden and free ourselves from the past. So here I sat with Teri, her daughter Noelle and her grand daughter Zoe, three generations of beautiful women , all impacted by past legacies. As I interviewed Teri, it grew apparent that there was an enormous void caused by one of the most profound and painful chapters of her life.Teri helplessly witnessed the suicide of her 21 year old daughter Mary as she walked in the path of an oncoming train. This has become part of their legacy , as individuals, mothers, sisters and daughters. As I worked I wondered how does one refrain from giving power to such pain.There are no words, no right way, no time frame, no magic mode for healing.
These works are inspired by Teri, her daughters , Noelle and Mary and granddaughter, Zoe. They celebrate their legacy.
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| Legacy |
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| Legacy: On the Backs of Their Mothers |
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| Zoe |
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